woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
my sisters under your porch take her home
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
