is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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