Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
i want to swaddle you in tequila
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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