So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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