my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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