end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
