I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
