he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I need to sanitize my soul.
Dicks are not precious.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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