I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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