i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
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