I can't breathe out the right side of my face
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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