She is in my trunk
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
