my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Randomize
