A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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