yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
