sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
