he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
honey bunches of taint.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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