i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
