things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
