you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
