Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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