Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Randomize
