The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Tell her she can't have a vagina
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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