Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
you win again, gameday.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
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