idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
