he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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