just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
