I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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