So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
