A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
