Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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