11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
