he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
