Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Randomize