omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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