dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
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I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
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Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Randomize