I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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