are you still at the devil's house?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
