Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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