i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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