yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
