im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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