sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
