Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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