Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
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