Your face is a jimmy john
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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