so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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