I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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