i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
