fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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