so that wasnt chicken after all
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
