Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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