Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
