Well douche your snatch and let's go!
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
