It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
