You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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